One of Canada's most famous physicians was Dr. William Osler. Many stories are told of Dr. Osler, but one of the most revealing comes from World War I.
Friends recalled the day when he was working in one of Britain's military hospitals during the war. He was called out of the wards during his daily rounds to be given an important message; his own son had been killed on the fields of France.
Stunned by the news, he still came back to pick up his rounds. For a long period afterward he was noticeably different. And those who knew him best said that he changed as a physician that day. The cheerful note was gone from his voice and never again did friends hear the tune which he so often whistled as he went from ward to ward.
Though these things never returned, something eventually came to take their place. Everyone noticed a new compassion in his care of the soldiers who each day streamed in from the battlefield. Before, he had the professional concern of the physician, so important to the practice of medicine; now there was an added discernable note of a personal compassion, like that of a father for his son....
Osler was understandably hurt and, like most people who have experienced such losses, he likely became angry. In time, after working through pain and anger, he found a way to integrate the loss into his life. Though he was never the same, he chose not to let his son's death turn him into a bitter and resentful man. Instead, he channeled it into energy and love for others, caring for them as he would care for his own.
Helen Keller wisely said, "The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."
Osler teaches us something about overcoming suffering. It can leave us bitter, or quite surprisingly, it can often leave us better. More patient. More sensitive. More compassionate. And a little more like how God must surely be.
Credit to By Steve Goodier (http://www.allthingsfrugal.com)
Hello friends, I bumped on this on facebook and thought it prudent to share it with you. Let it minister to you, even as you read through till the last letter:
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up and for those of us not married, we can learn the art of sticking together with your relationship partner despite the odds. You are both stronger than the odds only when you agree. A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. -Credit: Lowla Dee
When was the last time you thanked God for everything in your life? We always think that is easy to thank God during the good times. I am sure most of us have given God a quick thank you when something good happens in our life. It is not so easy to thank God in the difficult times. During these times it is hard to be thankful. We may not even think we have anything to be thankful for. Today we face unemployment, home foreclosures, economic chaos, political upheaval and many more problems. Many of these problems have directly impacted people in significant ways. This article is a quick reminder to be thankful all the time.
In these difficult times you may wonder what you have to be thankful for. If you are a Christian, there is always that little thing called salvation. When was the last time you thanked God for salvation. I don't think we could ever thank God enough for that. Be thankful for your family and friends. What about this beautiful world that God made for us? There are countless things to be thankful for in each of our lives. We just need to look for them. The Bible even teaches that we should be thankful for the bad things in life. "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18KJV. It does say to give thanks for the good things but all things. Paul wrote these words and they are a testament from his own life. If you look at the life of Paul, he had many trials and tribulations in life. God has a plan for our lives and we will have good times and bad. Both will shape us into person god wants us to be.
How do you give thanks to God? Prayer is the first thing that comes to mind. Prayer time should always include a time of thanking God. Take time and be specific when you thank God. A quick thanks for everything does not sound very sincere. If you have ever been on the receiving end of that you will understand. Becoming more thankful will help you build a closer relationship with God. You will develop an attitude of worship that will last throughout the day. The needs of those around you will become more evident. You will more open to telling others about God and what he has done for you. In conclusion, it will put you on the path of trying to be Christlike.
"There's one sad truth in life I've found; While journeying east and west -The only folks we
really wound; Are those we love the best.We flatter those we scarcely know,We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best".
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Most of us seem to have problems in our relationships. The dilemma may range from those involving family members, coworkers, friends, spouses and others. Daughters fail to understand their mothers and sons never getting to know their fathers well enough. And single parents have hard times trying to relate to their kids.
Couples seem to disagree on many issues and take each other for granted. Single women and men face problems finding the right partners. For a relationship to develop and grow you need to give it attention. One of our human needs is to connect and relate with others. It can be emotional, social or intellectual. Much joy comes from the bonds you develop with others. Your judgments about others and yourself could be the reason behind your ineffectiveness to relate. You remember past hurts. You make comparisons. You carry a tremendous burden of guilt from past mistakes and selected memories. Intimate relationships can fail because of jealousy. Low self-esteem or the feeling of unworthiness is the main cause. It also happens when there is no trust in a relationship. The dire and constant need for approval can also ruin it.
Your problem is in your attitude. Trying to shape people to fit your needs will distance them from you. You want your children to grow and meet your standards. You demand gratitude and obedience. You create suffocation. This will result in a rebellious attitude and breakdown in communication. You could have gone through child abuse and are
unconsciously doing to your kids what was done to you.
You want your employees to work the way you do. When your standards are not met, you create work stress among them without considering the emotional abuse involved.
You expect your partner to think and feel the same way you do. In failing to do so, you get outraged and hurl verbal abuse. If you are unable to control it, you may strike and cause physical abuse. If you were to look back you will realize that it does not work in trying to change the people around you. You are annoying them with your demands. It is better to put your energy on your personal growth. One place to begin with is to look within. You can then begin to understand your thoughts and feelings, your values and motives and your roles.
You can never like or love others more than you like or love yourself. The better you understand yourself the better you relate to others. Every one of us has separate identities and values. You must identify your values. Values are anything you think is important. When you begin to realize that your relationship is important you will re-focus before you drift into an argument or get int
o a rage. Break up, separation and divorce will not happen if there is mutual understanding. Stopping your anger will not make you wrong and the person right.
When a relationship deteriorates you may only see that the other person needs to change.
You refuse to acknowledge that you are the one who must make the change.
You are in your own world most of the time and thinking about your own problems.
You react without concern on the consequences of your actions. And you justify your actions by blaming others.
You play games with people to avoid future hurts. You imply threats. You make demands.
Sometimes you even hold on to a troubled marriage because you want to protect yourself and preserve what you have.
You could be suffering from an abusive relationship right now. And you justify by saying that this is what you deserve.
Finally you may only let go of the dysfunctional relationship when the pain of staying becomes greater than letting it go. Letting go gives you personal space in your life. And you will be able to create something new. A time for you to rejuvenate. You have to improve your ability to communicate. You should not be doing mind reading or expect people to read your mind. Stop hinting and making people try to figure out what you are trying to convey. Clamming up and giving the silent treatment put your relationship into a deep freeze. Learn to ask for what you want. Learn to listen to what others have to say. Exchange understandings, excitement and insights to improve your interaction. Another way is to remind yourself not to be bothered with what others have to say. Why should you waste negative emotional energy on feeling bad? Some people criticize or make insulting remarks to boost their own ego. Realize that they are reflecting what's going on inside them. You do not have any control over what another person say. You can choose to avoid the adverse effect. You can interpret it any way you choose. You can be selective with your association with others. The people you allow in your life affect you. Negative people can bring unhappiness in your life. Sometimes you can't avoid or get away from them. Getting along with them is the next best thing to do in order to avoid hostility.
Why don't you...
Avoid being vain. Instead make someone feel important by giving them attention.
Judge less and find something to love in every person.
Lead by building a support system where you can give inspiration, dedication and aspiration.
Hug your love ones more often and look into their eyes more deeply.
Help a friend to get her life to work better. True friendship is expressed by providing warmth, understanding and support.
Share your most secret thoughts with the one you love. Keep your romance alive
Show courtesy. Help people in caring ways. Reach out and express your kindness through simple selfless acts, gestures, and words.
Stop boasting. People are more interested to know how much you care than listening to your bragging.
Scripture: Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it s in heaven. Matthew 6:10
In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus gave a valuable insight into prayer, he showed us that prayer is not instructing or informing or bending the arm of God. In fact, the object of prayer is not to bend the will of God to ours, but to get our will in line with His. Martin Luther said, “By our praying, we are instructing ourselves more than Him.”
Its funny how sometimes in prayer, we will try to impress God with our flowery language and knowledge of Bible verses: “Blessed Potentate and Supreme Architect of the galaxies, we come before you in this auspicious hour to supplicate before your majestic throne...” Certainly, even the Lord will break down in laughter when He hears people talk to Him with such fanciful words.
The beauty of our relationship with God is that He knows us and our needs before we even come to Him.
So in prayer, all He wants us to do is to remember what He has promised us and present our requests to Him. We can go over the details if we want, but instead of going into every detail, it is better to spend a little time remembering that we are speaking to God, reminding ourselves of His greatness and goodness. We don’t need to educate God in prayer. We don’t need to inform Him and He is aware of it.
True praying is not overcoming God’s reluctance; it is laying hold of His willingness. We are not trying to move God our way. The idea is to move ourselves His way. So the objective is to find out what His will is, what His purpose is. Let’s learn to pray for His will to be done.
